Story from Multiple Eyes

Anyway, recently some of my friends had some disputes over some words thrown over. Maybe some sarcasm, some scepticism that rip the scars in the heart. I am not there to witness anything - all I heard was a mouth story. I'd say it's pretty bullshit - but you know, how girls can turn out to be mean? 

Read the previous post by Dils to understand what I mean.

I am not going to take sides since both are also my friends, and what's more - it's girl stuff. Why should I be involved in it, since I don't have any vagina? 

The only thing I can give are advises. These can be applied if you're in any relationship, no matter BFF, BF-GF and whatnot:

Enough? Now stop fighting, girls. Stop bullying too. Stop hurting any peoples - this is an area best left to man. No gender equality here - you're just too soft and too fragile to involve in bullying or fighting.

The gist of the story is, Phoebe an Irish girl moved to the U.S, Massachusetts last year and started school there. She was incredibly pretty and smart and coupled with the fact that she is new and her lilting Irish accent, made her a hit among the boys. She dated briefly a football player who's a senior there which causes the ire of the popular older girls in the school. Slurs hurled, harassed constantly and stalked in real life and in the Facebook. One day in January after a Red Bull can was thrown at her direction, she probably think she had enough and ended her life by hanging herself with a scarf in her closet.

And these girls that meted out these bullying obviously born without conscience, continue to terrorize her in her death and left hurtful vicious comments on her Facebook memorial page.

And that last act that appalled me. Girls can be very cruel. But so cruel to the point of you are not sorry at all when someone is dead, and write "Accomplished" in her memorial page. It is incomprehensible.

Just so you know, bullying is not constrained to just physically harassing a person. It can be by verbally abusing them, spreading rumours and isolating the person. While I have to freely admit that some girls are prone to talk shits about people, there are some people that can go to the extreme that hurt the most.

I would say I have been both the giving and receiving end of this type of things.

In secondary school, while not really popular, I do hang about in the popular groups. And sometimes the things young girls think as justice are actually bullying. Openly laughing at the people who are different than us, played tricks on the targeted girls (e.g. give letters to the girls supposedly penned by a some guy or even forced a guy to join in our idiotic plan and asked the girl to meet this guy because he like her, which he will then string along and gave us the letters for our amusement. Damn, we were evil bitches) And usually the worst one is where everyone is not allow or do not want to talk or associate with the person. I would say that the worst one because like I said, I had experience both the receving and giving end of the sticks plus minus some other things I talked about earlier. Those can break a girl spirit. 

The thing is all that I had done above, some mean, some are done in good fun , all of us know there is a line somewhere. Someone would have a guilty conscience and remind the others to stop doing this, its killing the other person. And we stopped. We even apologized, to some. And when I got the receiving end of the bullying, it was hellish. It was hellish for me morning and night. I become bitter, and distrustful to everyone. Its hard. I like to think of it as karma, but I do also think I was never that bad. But maybe to the person I openly sneered at, I was that bad too. Who knows? However while the silent treatment and sneering continues, I just go on and take action to go and remove myself somewhere else for respite. Many other people do not have these options. I guess Phoebe believed she does not have these options to and she is much more younger and vulnerable. And the bullying in the western world is more terrible than what we Asians counterpart experience.

I only remembered once when I was in Australia, in my class there was a big bully. He terrorized the lower grades (grade 1,2,3 also known as standard in our Malaysian school system) in the school. I remembered he will not hesitate to give a blow or a punch to anyone even without reasons. The schoolchildren whispered around that he have older brothers who beat people up too, so nobody dare messes with him. There was a particular incident, I can't remember what had happened to cause the bully to act angrily toward this boy, but it was the first time I seen him in his full blown rage. We were lining up to go into class, the bully pummeled the boy to the ground and with flaming cheeks he casually dragged the poor boy by the hair into the nearby woods to I guess beat the hell out of him even more. Everyone was dumbstruck and silent and nobody dare to say anything. This was happening when I was eight. Imagine the violence if say, we were 15 at the time. 

What I guess I am trying to say is, the physical does hurt. It hurt as much as the verbal abuse. While boys usually more prone to receive the physical threat of bullying, the girls are usually attacked verbally or shamed. And today generation are now growing up with Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Blog even. The ability to update to thousand of people in your network in a blink, the attack may even be more devastating. The ability to spread rumours to wide reaching audience with the supposed thinking it can be anonymous, and sensationalized and you won't be in any trouble. Before this name smear maybe contained to one area, but with the Internet, everything changed. I do not have to explain more, many of you are Internet savvy enough to know the truth.

Right now the bully are being charged and facing punishment, but many argue is that enough? What about the adults, the teachers and the parents who let the bully continue to terrorize. Its hard to see what had gone wrong. Usually a person who like to hit somebody is associated with parents that hit their kids too. But blaming and sneering and rumour spreading. Many come from respectable background with conscientious parents. Maybe it comes to where does the blame end and what you are going to do about it to make sure your children or nephews or nieces grow up to be a people without malice or at the very least know when to stop and what is right and what is wrong

Another new week.

Today for something different, I'd like to share my personal experience in life after marriage. Afraid not, it is not some wise ass guide to a perfect marriage or to 'saiko' you to stay single, but rather a reality check for those who are looking to build that mosque soon.

Marriage doubles everything.

1) Income and expenses - Household income will get doubled. So you do have some cash to play around, buying things etc. First priority will be to get your home decorated. Things like sofa set, TV, bedroom set, dining table, have to be set up in early months of marriage. But the thing is, your expenses will be doubled as well, from food to all those little things you buy for your kitchen and bathroom, and your utilities bill. Manage wisely.

2) Love and hate - If you marry someone you love, you'll be happier. Period. But sometimes, a married couple can have a crisis or two. Remember this, you will know your spouse better after marriage, from their good to bad habits. For example, I used to hate watching tv in a bright room, but my Mrs likes the other way around. So we switch a faraway lamp. Compromise. I remembered one ustaz from the marriage course that gave an excellent tips to minimize the after marriage conflict - Pick 1 night, the sooner the better, say honeymoon night and declare all the things you love (hobby, interest) and your 'pantang tok nenek' to your love one. Do it before the other party found out the hard way.

3) Stuffs and junks - If you're a hoarder like me, storage is a must. I've got so many things from my previous single life cramped in boxes, and you got double again from your better half. We are currently still working on that LOL. One room full of junks. Your clothes might not fit into a small cupboard anymore, so buy a bigger one. Take 1 day to sort all of your junks and get rid of the trash.

4) Responsibility - You used to be responsible for your parents, and now you have your partner and it just get double again. Plan ahead for balik kampung trip, alternate between you and him/her.

I think that's about it (kot). Words of wisdom - Prepare, prepare and prepare. Are you ready?








I've been married for 3 months plus now. Not everything is according to plan, but that is just life.

Invisible Trade, talking about high-class sex for sale in Singapore. Singapore known to legalize sexual transaction in Geylang area. That's equivalent to Batam in Indonesia.

Working lady, prostitute, hooker, whore, stripper, call girl, escort, gigolo, toy boy etc could be all classified as sex worker. They're getting paid for doing sexual related things. It's a good book really for most part cause it's a good tragedy. I just love good tragedy. The rest is in the details.

Anyhow, a colleague brought up an interesting topic in the office. She was saying that Gen Y women not care much if their husband getting into affairs as long as money and/or love is there for them. They could just be satisfied with money and/or love cause it's expected from the man they're married to have an affair - knowing how many attractive yet single ladies out there.

I couldn't help but to disagree at some point of the statement. I agree that Gen Y women not care much if their husband getting into affairs but love and money couldn't just heal you out of it. What I could see in Gen Y women are more independent thought in them. Most of them used to work at some point of their single life which normally could ended up with marriage around 25-30 years old normally. They get so much exposure on living on their own and most of them still keep working even after marriage. Dependencies towards man and position of man as breadwinner wasn't a natural factor anymore in marriage. Husband and wife depending on each other both emotionally and financially.

That's mean Gen Y women have better options should an affair broke up in their marriage. Not that they couldn't care much but they have ways to deal with it by terminating the marriage and starting brand new life. Women nowadays even get paid more than they used to hence they could earn more than men.

However, it's also relate to the point of peer pressure whereby women nowadays being brought up in such luxurious lifestyle that it comes to their nerves. As I would like to relate back to the book that I read, more and more university student and young professional getting into escorting and call girl business. As highlighted in the book, they're doing it to get some extra money and sometimes to get the luxury of getting showered with luxury items/attention from men - it's noted that most men who using escort service or call girls agent are men with money to burn. It's an interesting point to note that the women getting into this for money while the men getting into this for attention and love. Both could get into trouble; married men get into affairs and young women trapped into cycle of vicious sexual transaction to satisfy their pleasure guilty ridden over their head.

Anyhow, I'm trying hard to finish this book cause it has second edition which I presume would tell more dark tragedies. I enjoy the book so far. Owh...this book written by Gerrie Lim and this book sells at Monsoon Books. You could find it here: http://www.monsoonbooks.com.sg/bookpage_0510336.html

Happy Weekend!

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My father loves driving, at least when he was younger (Now, I was his alternative driver). Every time we need to travel to Kuala Lumpur he will make sure we left early so he got enough time to drive along the kampung road; from one small town to another small town.

We usually stop at various eateries, shopped at different fruit stalls and sometimes even buying whatever odds that people sold alongside the road. I didn't enjoy it at all, thus I always... always sulked when my father wanted to have any road trips. I was restless sitting at the back of our family car and would get cranky.

I didn't get the concept of road trips until I got to be a driver myself. Owh, I still prefer the highway than the kampung road, mainly because I can push my car speed limit :P

I spend my last weekend driving up north to attend the company's annual getaway event. A road trip with three other girls. We get along splendidly, so we planned another road trip exactly one month from now... after we get our next pay check. The destination will still be up north, but we planned to go a little bit further. The hotels have been booked, so there's no bailing out now!

Surely, road trips took up more time and expenses. But, if you got the time to spend and are willing to sacrifice the luxury of airplanes or being driven in a bus or train... why not?