From people complaining of cats to me complaining of kids. Lack of.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
From today http://icanhascheezburger.com/.
Warning: Some long complaints about personal womanly stuffs ahead.
That site of internet banality can always lift my mood up. And of course I laughed out loud since my cat, Fasha, totally does this in the morning to wake me up. If biting and scratching does not work, (to wake me up and feed her), she will come go to my face start licking around my face and hair. Urgh. Cat breath early in the morning.
Oh yeah, other people my age is telling tales about their kids. And I am telling stories about my cat. And it hurts when people complained that is the only thing I told. Because you know what, those cats are the only thing aside from my family and work, that are important in my life.I am not the life of a party y'all and I don't even GO (or got invited) to party. Even Tupperwares one. My routine consisting of going to work, back to work, dinner with husband/family and layan the insane antics of my cats.
Kids? Oh yes. I think as each year past, when a couple are still face with a childless year, the smile that accompanied to that answer for the question "Bile lagi?" gets more and more taut. I am not complaining nor stressing out since it is much too early. But I do get frustrated when people expect a kid is a must in a marriage and something is really wrong when you are not conceiving right away. Both husband and I, have not celebrated our 2nd year anniversary yet. We still got a lot to go through to learn and accept each other. But it does get frustrating when you know a girl say, 2 bulan into the marriage is happily exclaiming "There's a bun in the oven". Happy for her yes, but feeling kinda anal about feeling frustrated because you are slightly disappointed when the period come without fail every month.
And also another thing I am complaining about for new mothers is how they asked me what could go wrong in the pregnancy just because I had a miscarriage. There is a person at work who know she gotten pregnant, then immediately after telling me she is pregnant, she then asked me.. "So... what happened to your pregnancy eh? I don't want to follow the same mistake."
I am not angry. I understand their concern. But the question does sting. Even though I KNOW they are not implying such, but I felt like I'd fail to take care of myself sufficiently. Also it feel like I am like an infomercial to tell you what you CAN'T DO DURING PREGNANCY. Macam the poster child of Don't Drink and Drive or you end up like this. So I don't appreciate being likened to that. Every person is different. Every pregnancy is different. I can't guarantee you that what happened to me if you do the same can happen to you.
Wow, this post is becoming very personal. Anyway. That's that. Kinda like letting go of toxicities in my head.
p/s: I don't mean that I am angry when people asked me what went wrong to cause the miscarriage. But it does get kinda grating when a person asked, what went wrong? And I said nothing went wrong, it just happened. Then they kinda bites their lip, eyes unbelieving, and after a few seconds of silence asked me again : really, what happened to cause this?
Tak ke rase macam nak lempang kalo dah macam tu kan?
Dils felt like she had been ignoring her 'message signature'. Dils is perfectly amiable when people talks about their kids or pregnancy though, so don't worry about it. Dils still love talking about kids because she got 2 nephews who can be a holy terror next door.
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now this is dils that i know! :D
damn. i think we all got more and more personal for each posts. hmmmmm.....
HAHAHAHAHA.
hahaha (aku gelak kt adeq)
hey it's not a funny post laa :) blog aku pon dh terbiar, nk blog sini pon xde idea... well, sometime personal post pon blasah aje
oh aku miss lg dateline minggu ni... dh xde ide2 bernas nk tulis ape... demm
they're probably biting their lips because they're very afraid. especially so since you point out to them that it's not something that you do or not do, it just happens... and so it can happen to them and they cannot do anything about it. it scares them.
as for people asking 'bila lagik?'... they just want to connect with you. it's like a bunch of guys hanging out and one of them ask 'what do you think of brazil? will they make it to the finals?' it does not really matter if they do or do not. but talking about it and being passionate about it is what connects the bunch of guys together. and kids gives people that connection. they give something common to talk about, share and be passionate about. because everybody loves their kids and when you see another parent, you will instantly know that.. like you, they too love their kids.
and i think.. old folks would like newly weds to have kids immediately because, its the kids that really bonds the couple together. and the bond between a mother and father is a permanent one, physical. yang boleh ditimang-timang.
sabar dils sabo... kalau aku org tanya same bullshit question twice, aku terus tenung je mata org tu lepastu sebut.."Sharingan......"
reading taqiyuddin's comment made me realize something.. maybe sebab tu my friendship with girls who are already married and have children deteriorate. maybe because they can't connect with me...
huhu
/me getting personal
Adek
Hahaha. Lama aku tenung post ni lepas aku dah abes tulis, decide nak post ke tak tu.
Yoda
Aku bukak je new post dan start je type. Kenkadang its surprise you what can come out.
Taqi
Nah, the bile lagik question don't bother too much. I was imagining it if its 5 years down the line and more. If it had been 5 years and a couple is still childless, the one who wants to know needs to know when to shut up or they really should not be socializing. Aku layan je soalan tu.
The funny thing is, old folks don't really ask that. The young couples does. Maybe because many old folks I know have difficulty getting a child before (adopted child, or some childless, or had a child after some considerable time, experience in hardship and giving away a child). I like the old folks I know, they know their experience.
My mom and MIL don't nag me too. Awesome.
Kasapsky
Sharingan? Apee tuhhhh
Sue
Sheesh, I think my personal circle dah lagi makin kecik, can't be mingling too much with the marrieds with children nor singles.
Hahaha. Ah, alasan untuk aku tidak mahu socializing je tu kut.
Agreed with Taqi.
Anyway, I also talk about my cats too much sometimes but I couldn't care less. If it's meant to be for us to have kids, than it's meant to be. Chillex je la. apa org nak kata, kata la. kalau org tanya bila? jawab je semalam hehe.
i feel u dils.. altho pregnancy aku survive - ok dah branak pun.. tp sgt annoying bila org2 yg baru lekat nih sms/ym/gtalk/fb tanya apa aku wat sampai aku bleeding.. n bila aku jawab nothing, mereka mcm dissapointed dgn jawapan aku like wth? kan
skang dah ada idea nak merepek apa kat blog sendiri
btw, i love cats!!!
i also hate when people keep asking, owh...when are you getting married?
i mean, come on. yes, i'm married but even so, i still feel it's inappropriate to connect with people by asking that sort of personal question. it couldn't be more invasive!
why can't you connect on something that less invasive like foods, movies or weather. you might just popping up question like:
the weather is freaking hot, don't you think?
yeah, it's the oldest trick in the "connecting to people 101" textbook but it works perfectly fine. otherwise, it won't last that long.
Dils, i jumped into this multiple eyes from ye personal blog. Beb, i've been in ye shoes since end of 2007 (newly-wed by that time)... Then 1st miscarried 2008, second miscarried 2009 and now still trying to conceive. Can u imagine how many -ve impact ppl aldy put in to me... But i just ignore them.. Hope u do too.. But doct ask me not to stay longer as a Banker, the stressness can kill.. Now, I quit my job and stay at home. x kaya pun x ape la asal hatiku gembira...
Dila!! alamak, mengapa aku rase bersalah tibe2 ni.. huhu..
Anyway, siannye ko terpakse menghadapi soalan2 camtu kan? tp xpe, aku yakin ko kuat orgnye. bertabahlah dila~!
Alah, belum sampai 2 tahun pun kawin, kecoh je org2 tu.. bagi can la korang berhoneymoon dulu ye dak? huhu.. xpe xpe, bile ada rezeki ade lar tu... ;)
Dedalie
hehe.. semalam ek? Ade dengar satu opinion tu... You are pregnant until you get your period. So bole answer camtuh jugak.
Ita
I loveee cats too!
Orang yang tanye ni mungkin terpengaruh tengok drama and film kut, mana bleeding je mesti sebab ade something happened.
mangifera
Mungkin orang yang tanye macam tu dah tadek idea sangat dah soalan ape nak ditanya lagi kan...
And I guess some people tak dapat nak pikir sensitivity issues kut. Kiranye tengok orang la ko nak tanye tu kan. Hehehe. Kalo org tu ok, ok je. Silap-silap, tanye soalan camtuh kat org yang baru putus tunang ke ape, tak pasal2 ko yang kena keluarkan tissue.
ska_ocean
Nolie~!
Aku tataw pulak ko dah berenti. And I heard business is doing good. (mengingatkan aku yg aku nak beli baju dari kedai ko asik lupa)
Hehehe.. Mungkin pasnih ade kut rezeki Insya Allah.
Setakat ni tadek stress sgt from family, which is bagus la kan.
Nia
Ops, Nia. Aku taw ko tak bermaksud ape2 tanye sebelom tu. And aku tak maksudkan ko pon dalam post itu . No worries.
Betul-betul. Honeymoon bagai ni. Bile2 boleh buat impromptu trip. (which is never... hoohoho)
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